A Hole Is Not For Peeing

This is the tale of two boys, their hole, and a buried pair of flip-flops.

It all started so innocently, just a pair of boys trying to dig to China. Who hasn't tried to dig to China? I myself made several attempts in my childhood to reach that far off land . I feel like I am a tolerant mother and every once in a while I let my children get so muddy I'm not sure where the mud ends, and the kid begins. I figure it is all a part of childhood. But enough about what an awesome mom I am...Alright, on with my story, the boys and Bonnie had been outside digging for almost 3 hours when Bonnie decided she was done, and wanted to come inside. I made her strip in the garage (that's where the washer and dryer are), then I got her in the bath. In the mean time, I went to tell the boys that it was their turn next, so they better get ready. However on the way to tell them that, I saw one of them peeing into the hole they had dug! I know that some people think, well so what, they are boys, and they had to go, so why not? I will tell you why not, A HOLE IS NOT FOR PEEING!!!! That is why we have toilets and manners!!! OK, so I told they boys they were absolutely done and they better get their empty bladders into the garage to clean up. On the way in, Ethan lets me know that he doesn't have his shoes because they are buried in the hole... Why? Why would you bury your shoes, and then pee on them? Only in the mind of an 8 year old is this OK. I told him he could bury sticks, rocks, leaves, anything that should be outside is OK to bury, not shoes, or anything that I have paid money for! So I made him and Aiden go out and dig up the shoes. When they realized they had to dig in the pee hole, they were quite upset with me, but I wasn't giving in. They buried those shoes, they sure as heck were going to be the ones to get them out! They started digging, but first they had to take out all the bricks they had put on top of about a foot of dirt they had put on top of the shoes. It took them about 45 minutes to finally dig them out. By the time they were done, they were cold and super dirty. Before I let them into my house, I sprayed them down with the hose. Man did they scream! And it maybe that I liked it a little bit. That might seem a little mean, but they were seriously muddy. And plus, our neighbors were out in their backyard hearing me yelling about not peeing in the hole and I was sorry that they didn't want to get into the pee hole, but I wasn't the one who buried my shoes and then peed on them! I did have a warm bath waiting for them when they were done with the hose, so you see I am not so heartless. Guaranteed, those are two boys that will NEVER bury their shoes in a hole and then pee on them again! Mission accomplished!

KEWING (just read it)

We have been having a lot of potty talk going on at my house lately. You know words like "pee" and "poo" and "butt". I hate that stuff! I have been really trying hard to curb this disturbing behavior, but... Brett has to make his own decisions! Just kidding. It is really the kids. Anyway, I felt like I was making some pretty good head way in this department, when the blood and guts talk started. Ewwww! Why is it so fun for five year olds to say gross stuff? I couldn't tell ya, but bummer for me! So...I have been getting after the kids to stop talking about gruesome events, when the other day in the car, I overheard Bonnie talking to Aiden (our friend) about "kewing" a vampire. She was describing how she would do it, when I interrupted her and said, "Hey stop talking about killing please! That is not nice. We do not talk about killing anyone even if they are a vampire!" I couldn't believe it! They are both 5 and they are way too young to talk about killing things. I think that kids should have to build up to that. Because if they are talking about it now, what comes next? I will tell you what comes next, actually killing things! Sure it will start off small with bugs and snails and stuff, but then come the small animals, and who knows what else!!! Alright, I could be over reacting just a bit, but I feel I am legitimately concerned here! Well, right after I told Bonnie to stop talking about killing, she immediately got defensive and said, "Mom! I am not saying KEWING him, I am saying KEWING him!" Oh right, now that makes things perfectly clear. You might have to hear Bonnie say stuff to get the true effect here, she has issues saying her "R's", "S's", and "L's". You should hear her say "car" and "cow", it sounds exactly the same! So after staring at my blank expression, she further explains, "You know I was making him say 'AHHHHHHH'!" Ohhhhhh, she was scaring him, not killing him. Bonnie has become an expert at explaining what things mean, or coming up with a different way to say the same thing. She has had to for survival. Well, I guess I can live with scaring vampires.

Just The Beginning

I know it's Saturday, and the election was on Tuesday, but I just want to say HIP HIP HOORAY for prop 8 passing!!! I feel such a great sense of release, but also I am feeling an urgency that this is not over, it is just the beginning. There have been several events that have really bothered me that have happened in politics in the last year. SB 777 (that's senate bill 777, look it up its disturbing), and Harvey Milk (is that how you spell it?) day are just the bigger events that took my notice, but prop 8 was the straw that broke the camel's back. I could not sit idly by and just wait to see what happened, which by the way is really my preferred method of dealing with problems. I don't want to give the impression that I was all that and then some, but I do feel like I did what I could to help with this cause. That however is not the point I am trying to make. I just wanted to say that I am ready for whatever comes next, cause you know this isn't the end, and because of the hard work of EVERYONE who helped to pass prop 8, I feel like we can take it! So from the person who gave money, time, and effort into prop 8 to the person who just voted yes, THANK YOU!!

Salami

I think we should have given Bonnie the middle name of "Salami". That way when someone asked her, "Do you like salami?", she could answer, "LIKE IT!! Salami's my middle name!!". I think body might be made up of 75% salami by the way she inhales it. She asks for a salami sandwich everyday for lunch. Well, at least salami has protein in it right? I think we should invest in salami stocks, because we will pretty much guarantee that those puppies won't fall!